My Birthday Dinner with Oprah
Me and Oprah
January 29th was a huge day for celebrity birthdays. Most notably, mine and Oprah’s.
And that’s why we gathered (as we do every year) in Oprah’s Montecito, California home and I cooked what has become Opie’s favorite dish of mine, Rigatoni alla Vodka. A simple, but flavorful dish, O likes when I flambe a Vanilla-flavored vodka over the prosciutto, onions, and garlic before starting the sauce. This year we added some sauteed mushrooms to the dish, which gave it some added texture and taste when joined with the sauce, and rigatonis cooked to an al dente perfection. (I boil my Riggies for one minute shy of the suggested time on the box)
Anyway, needless to say, dinner was a hit, and it was then time for a cocktail by the pool before dessert.
We spoke of how technology is changing the world, the state of current politics, Darius Rucker’s solo career, and most importantly, the lessons we’ve learned from the passage of time.
As I ranted on about the regrets that consumed me, the missed opportunities that haunted me, and the retrospect that made me wish I had a time machine, Oprah calmed me like only she can do. When you’re with Oprah she has a way of exuding both a Goddess-like prescence, but at the same time soothing with a Buddhist-like peace.
As she went into what I can only imagine was the most eloquent and insightful monologue about life ever, all I was fixated on was two things…
A.) Should I have put more Basil in the sauce? and 2.) Oprah has like $3 Billion dollars…she could probably build me a Time Machine!
I remember she was saying something like, “And that’s why we can’t dwell on the mistakes of our past. We can only learn…blah blah- something-or-other-“, when I jumped in- “Wait Opes! Do YOU know anyone with a time machine?!”
“What? No.” She seemed really put off.
“Well, do you think you could buy me one or pay someone to make one for me?”
Oprah stood up from the patio table, chugged down the rest of her Jim Beam Old Fashioned and *poof* — just like that she was gone.
Night turned to morning. Morning turned to afternoon. Finally, I tried to get back in the house but it was locked. Maybe she had to go to the bathroom or something and forgot I was there. I’m not really sure.
I left a note on the patio table…
“Hey Opie. Had to fly back home to go back to work. I think you accidentally locked me out. See you next year birthday twin!
PS…You never answered me about the time machine so text me when you get this.”
It was an amazing birthday, as always, but in retrospect I think I should’ve put more basil in the sauce.
(Ok…If you’ve actually read this far then you know I made up a huge portion of this post. So, I’ll come clean…. I have no clue to how to flambe! I just kinda poured the vodka in there. Shhhh!!!)
